Writer James Hagerty has written over 800 obituaries while at the Washington Post and from that experience came his book, Yours Truly where he talks about how much he hates obituaries but loves what he does.
Hagerty says he decided to write his own story, i.e. practicing what he preaches — while he can.
“Don’t leave it to family members, who are almost certain to make a hash of it,” he counsels others.
He explains that from the outset, he wanted his obituary to break from convention. Rather than the usual recitation of names, dates, and accomplishments padded with overblown praise about the persons’ kindness, generosity, and family devotion, he wanted something different. He rules out any guessing about an afterlife destination, and rejects the standard phrase about "passing away surrounded by family", joking that it might make readers picture his relatives worried he'd bolt from his deathbed given half a chance.
Instead, he explains in his book, he wants to lay out plainly and simply what he was trying to accomplish with his life and how it actually turned out.
He notes that after writing hundreds of obituaries for other people, he's been struck by two things: how deeply families and friends want to make sure their loved one's life is remembered, and how surprisingly little they actually know about that life.
When it comes to writing your own obituary rather than leaving it to others, you may wonder if it really matters. “It probably matters to you,” Hagerty says.
So, he reasons, why not have the last word? Why not take the opportunity to puncture a few misconceptions about yourself, share details of your life that went unnoticed at the time but mattered to you, and thank the people who deserve it?
His book, Yours Truly, provides a road map for writing your life story; one that may become your obituary, or at the very least, a valuable gift to your family.
Ready to write your own obituary or have you been tasked to do it for a family member?
We've provided some questions from the book Yours Truly, to get you started. And if you'd like to have help from one of our writers, beginning this fall, GMT is introducing Well Remembered, a new service offering to write featured obituaries built around the details that made someone unforgettable, not just the dates and titles. Contact us at editor@globemiamitimes for details.
“The first thing to get over when attempting to write an obituary is the misnomer that these things are morbid. But a good obituary is full of life, with a few laughs and (with) any luck a lesson or two. ... Death is merely the pretext for telling that story."
— James Hagerty, Wall Street Journal and obituary writer
