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God Bless BP!

BP British Petroleum Co., Ltd., 1922 Union Jac...

By: Jim Moss

God Bless British Petroleum.

Cheerleaders for the oil industry, for deep off-shore oil exploration, and for unregulated capitalism adopted the slogan, ‘Drill, Baby, Drill!’ at the 2008 Republican Convention.  This cool-sounding slogan is macho & sexy.  When partisans chant ‘Drill, Baby, Drill’, they are proudly giving a kosher finger to environmentalists, climatologists, and, of course, ‘socialists’.

Do you suppose the BP Gulf Gusher has quelled their voracious appetite for deep water off-shore exploration?  Hardly.  These folks are true-believers in unfettered fossil fuel capitalism.  ‘Spill, Baby, Spill’ just hardens their shell.  Like  Governor Rick Perry of Texas, they double-down on their diatribe.   Governor Perry declared during a press conference a few weeks back — that the BP Spill is basically ‘An Act of God’.  That’s right, this horrific environmental nightmare is just like a volcano, a tsunami, a hurricane, a blizzard, a tornado, a flood — a powerful, mysterious Act of God.

Perry’s assertion does illustrate one important thing  — greed mixed with religious paranoia enables God’s children to concoct the biggest, baddest rationalization imaginable!  Just think about some of the terrible ‘Acts of God’ from times past…. The Plague.  The Titanic.  Pompeii.  Gettysburg.  The Dust Bowl.  Cherynobl.  Mt. St. Helens.  Hiroshima.  Katrina.  Space Shuttle Challenger.  Haiti.  9/11.   The BP Gulf Gusher.  Just mix together a string of horrific historic events — some natural disasters, others man-made.  That’s right, just mix ’em up real good — because lots of folks will swallow the concoction.

In order to validate their allegiance to ‘Drill, Baby, Drill’, devotees will cling to the irrational belief that a human caused accident is just another ‘Act of God’.  Truly a testament to the power of blind faith!

But, can Governor Perry and his Drill, Baby, Drill disciples answer this simple question —  How can one claim to believe in the bedrock ‘conservative’ principle of Personal Responsibility, while also claiming that natural disaster = man-made disaster?

Personal Responsibility.  Taking responsibility for one’s own actions — remember, this popular ‘family value’ espoused by ‘conservative’ Republicans.  Oh yes, so-called ‘conservatives’ say they are real big on the idea of Personal Responsibility….EXCEPT when powerful, greedy, business interests are at stake.   Does Personal Responsibility to these folks mean that one of the biggest  human-caused environmental disasters in World History should be blamed on God?

To the ‘Drill, Baby, Drill’ crowd — Personal Responsibility has more to do with sex & welfare.  It means that citizens suffering from economic hardship should feel guilty for accepting government-provided assistance.  And, of course, Personal Responsibility means rejecting birth control, and avoiding STDs.  That’s RIGHT.  ‘Spill, Baby, Spill’ has ZERO to do with Personal Responsibility.  This BP mishap is simply a an unfortunate and unintentional corporate incident that occurred in the line of patriotic, capitalistic, divine duty.

OK.  I am beginning to see the light.  The BP Gulf Gusher does not violate conservative principles of Personal Responsibility.  How could it?  This planetary disaster was not man-made.  No, this Big Corporate BP Gusher is actually an Act of God  — another ‘Sign of the Times’ revealed in the Book of Revelation.  Look hard, drill deep, drop some acid — you will find a Biblical explanation for BP’s benign, noble role as God’s Agent in the grand scheme of apocalyptic theology.  Perhaps this Gusher in the Gulf represents nothing more than a divine exclamation point put upon the sinful culture of New Orleans.  After all, these folks have the audacity to try and rebuild after Katrina!  God must be trying to show the Gulf who is Boss.

So, rest easy.  As long as one upholds & defends ‘conservative Christian’ values by steadfastly working to kill government-sponsored assistance programs, and keeps his/her sexual urges in check— nothing to fear.  Anyhow, we Americans will need every dime saved from public assistance waste to subsidize the clean-up of the Almighty’s retribution.

Finally,  we have moved Beyond Petroleum.

Enter the Age of Benevolent Preordination.

BP’s Big Gusher in the Gulf has nothing whatsoever to do with Personal Responsibility or Corporate Accountability.  BP is merely playing it’s pre-destined role as a submissive instrument in the ‘Hands of an Angry God’.

God Damn Bless bp.

LA Times photographers have provided these hi-res images of BPs Oil Spill

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One comment

  1. Yes!

    Here’s my speech. Fossil fuels are fuels formed by natural resources such as anaerobic decomposition of buried dead organisms. The age of the organisms and their resulting fossil fuels is typically millions of years, and sometimes exceeds 650 million years.

    So here is my NEW RULE concerning fossil fuels: If you don’t believe in evolution and you don’t believe the world is millions of years old, you are not allowed to vote, drill, lobby or profit from the capitalistic, greed-filled free-for-all of fossil fuel getting and selling.

    If you do profit from something you deem ‘not in line with our biblical beliefs’, you are either investing in a fairy tale, or you are making money off of ‘satan’s big lie’….both which are beneath you. Fossil fuels are only usable for those who believe in Evolution…everyone else has to use apples, burning bushes and fig leaves. In that order.

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